Hmm, so this is where the journey all begins. Digitally. This is the first journal I’ve kept since I had a Livejournal account. Anyone remember that? It was before Facebook and Myspace, and was basically massive amounts of me incessantly ranting in a seemingly perpetual state of teenage angst. No, no you can’t see my Livejournal. I’ve changed a small amount since then!
Basically, I have decided to start writing this online, and sharing my story with the 2 or 3 people that may actually read it. I’m not going to claim that I am trying to inspire people (not yet anyway haha, I may actually become inspirational at some point, but right now I’m just a regular guy who’s between rock bottom and average.) My plan is to become the person that I have always wanted to be, and to do the things I have always wanted to do, but put off due to work or finances. Work and finances are the 2 biggest hindrances I’ve ever had to deal with in all honesty. Actually, the sesh would be a 3rd in fairness. I mean, I love my job, and it pays very well, but it does not afford me the lifestyle which I have always desired.
In spite of having a job that I enjoy and that pays very well, I have struggled with stress and mental health problems, that have resulted in me spending money incredibly recklessly. Last month everything came to a head. I realised that I was drinking too much and burying my head in the sand. I had built up a large amount of debt that I had just been paying off the minimum amounts from, and trying to live an unsustainable lifestyle that was in essence making me more and more unhappy. I have now made a conscious decision to make some drastic changes in my life. I will set myself a goal of getting debt free within approximately 16 months.
The world we live in is currently in utter turmoil with virus deaths and lockdowns globally, but I must say that the time I have spent in isolation has really helped me take stock of my life and see that going away to expensive hotels, drinking expensive drinks or wasting money on things I can’t afford is not the way I have ever wanted to go. I guess I almost fell into this lifestyle. I built up more and more debt, which in turn meant I had to progress through my career to try and earn more to pay it off. However, when I was earning more, I was just buying more. Vicious capitalist cycle. At stages in my life I have worked multiple jobs at the same time to make ends meet. At this present time, I don’t need to, but I still carried on wasting money.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had an excellent time going to festivals, parties, gigs, events, restaurants…. literally so many fun places and experiences. I have donated some bits to charity, and I have loads of tech and gadgets too, but I don’t need any of it. I wanted it, and I’ve come to a realisation of late that there is a stark contrast between wanting something and needing something. I remembered back to seeing some of the most impoverished people on my travels that were continuously smiling when they had no real possessions. I was sitting here with everything I had ever wanted (aside from debt of course haha) and I was struggling to crack a grin. Unless I was with other people making them laugh. I am in my element then.
The trouble with having a lot is that it is like a house of cards. At any moment a gust of wind can come along and destroy it, you lose everything and it’s extremely difficult to rebuild. If you only have one card, the only card that you need and it is rested on the table face down (or face up, I don’t care, you tell me. Look let’s not argue about whether the card is face up or face down. Am I arguing with myself or the reader? Goodness knows) Erm, I lost myself there. Oh yeah, if the card is facing upward or downwards on the table it won’t get blown over, it won’t collapse. Even a storm could blow it off the table, then you could just pick up the single card and put it back when the storm subsides. Basically the less you own, the less you have to lose. Imagine how angry someone is when they lose an expensive camera on holiday. If they didn’t have an expensive camera in the first place, they would never have lost it.
Bloody hell, I’ve just realised that I have written several more paragraphs than I had intended to. Basically in the coming months I will outline my plan of an incredible journey that I intend to embark upon once all debt has gone and I have a little bit of savings. Hopefully by the end of 2021/beginning of 2022 I will be able to start. Oh yeah, if there’s anyone rich out there that would like to give me a head start, just contact me, yeah? Haha I jest of course. I am making sure I get debt free without any government help. This is a situation which I have gotten myself into, and one that I will get myself out of.
You can rest assured, that not all posts will be as serious as this one, I’m quite renowned amongst friends and family for having an odd sense of humour. Whilst I am working through paying off my debts I will share some stories of things that have happened to me on my travels. I will try not to make them too sweary, but there are some amazing things that have happened to me, and some outright frustrating ones that have left me shouting (small man syndrome). This is why I have decided to now dedicate my life to what I love. You’re probably bored now anyway, but if not, please subscribe and at least pretend to enjoy what you read to help my self-esteem.